Relationships are important for us all. They give us a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction, love and belonging, and of course a purpose in life. ‘Man is a social animal’ is perhaps the most cliched statement ever, but its relevance is never going out of style. We have a primitive need to be part of a group, to be included and supported by our own kind. Needless to say, when this fails, we tend to break down, lose hope, and feel dejected. Our need for validation from an outer source is strong and perhaps unmatched by any other known species.
However, while this validation is much sought after and somehow justified too, it is also the likely cause of our everyday problems. As the dependence on this acceptance turns into an overdependence it shakes our very own confidence and our true source of power. When we give an outer being or entity so much power over us, in a manner we surrender to perceived superiority which may not be plausible. As a result, we may accept a wavering entity at a higher position than justified. This causes self-doubt that eventually may give rise to symptoms synonymous to anxiety.
4 essential emotions:
The way out of this ruckus is simple. Recognize and appreciate 4 essential emotions to get your life in order and benefit. These emotions are strong individually and even stronger when combined. One may even take the risk of saying that these are the only emotions that matter, and you know what, love isn’t one of them.
First, learn to Trust yourself. No one knows you like you. You have been the best source of information on you. You are the expert in this subject. So, when you need to take advice, maybe it’s time to trust that gut instinct. Think about it, it’s all there for you to see.
Second, Prioritize yourself. Constantly putting yourself in the back seat won’t drive your car to the ideal destination. It is good to be selfless no doubt, but you need to remind yourself where you ought to be on your priority list too.
Third, Respect yourself. We all need feedback to grow and of course, constructive criticism is the best route there. But sometimes you know criticism can be harsh, and at most times unintentionally so. Choose well the source you intend to go to for this feedback. Someone who targets, insults, or ridicules you may not be the wisest choice. Instead, choose someone who shares not only success stories but also their struggles and failures.
Conclusion
Lastly, practice Gratitude. You can strive for all you want under the sun, but till the time you are not aware and thankful for what you already have and the value it gives your existence, you haven’t achieved anything yet.
While I mentioned that love wasn’t one of the 4 essential emotions, these do certainly combine to describe what we understand as self-love for sure. If you achieve this, you’ve really got something going.
